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The Bi Page

Outing and Spouting since oh, at least 2000...

Not that it's anyone's freaking business, but there is a fact to be had. There are bisexual people in the world. There are probably even some around YOU. So here. This is a page for those of us/you who choose both paths when we come to the woods.

RANT: (this rant appears in Issue 5 of The Fence, a zine for bi women--

Point N Glare; or, when Well-Meaning Liberals/Feminists/Gays/Lesbians go Bad

by Riotnot Filterbot Sept 6 2004

It's not like all of us haven't heard it before, the whole argument against or trashing bis. We have, so often for some of us that we have developed a whole range of responses running from the educational "Let me give you facts and oh here, take some literature from BRC" to "you know what? I wouldn't fuck YOU with a ten-foot strap on." I myself have used a whole bunch (thought lately the latter approach fits me better), and I try real hard for a living and otherwise to facilitate communication among the wide range of humanoids we all live with. 'Cause you know, talking is cool and all and everyone is entitled to their opinion, yadda yadda.

Except when they quite obviously know better. I'm not sure how many of us out there (wave, grrls!) have a gay friend or "queer" friend who just doesn't "get" us and the whole bi "thing". I have a great friend whom I truly love, who does fantastic educational work, who happens to be gay, and who has rarely resisted the urge to glare when I mention bisexuality. I do think he is sensitive to the issue with me, but I doubt he is with the rest of the universe at large. Is it because he's a gay guy? Is it because he might be seen as "bi-friendly" with his gay male friends? Is it really that he's kinda grossed out by the idea of girl/boy/grrl/boi action? I dunno-- after all, among those gay friends we have, how many do we know have "erred" and had sex with the opposite genitalia?

So what do we do, armed with our knowing nods that say we know people fuck whatever and whomever they want (a quote from "Exorcist the Beginning" which is not a bad film BTW, helps me here: "An orgy with goats doesn't mean they're possessed, it means they're horny.")? I am friends with a whole bunch of really cool feminist types, straight n not, and my lesbian friends have a hard time with bis. What happened, did a rampaging gang of bis take their ice cream away? "Ha ha! Gimme that Rocky Road, ya monosexual bitch!" I am talking HIGHLY evolved feminists, the kind that make Pat Robertson grab his balls when they bike by. What hope do we have of carving a bi space out if our most progressive allies are full of shit when it comes to bisexuality?

This is a rant, so I don't have an answer. But when our good friends go bad, we have several options. We can be quiet, and look, an educator, I can tell ya there are times when I really don't wanna teach anyone jack shit. And it's okay, but I admit it's not always a great option. We can talk: politely, rationally, and with our heads together. We can advocate: write your letters, educate our so-called LG(optional)BTQQ groups about bi needs and issues, and bi life.

Or we can just take the motherfuckers ice cream from them and lick, laughing all the while.

(The author is just kidding. As a vegetarian, she don't eat marshmallows so she would NEVER steal Rocky Road from a baby, much less a gay boy. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, on the other hand..)


Well, it's a new year, and from a sexuality point of view, probably not all that good to begin with. Americans didn't do a good job of discriminating between fear, ignorance, and stupidity, and of course, part of that was a right-wing conspiracy to use queers for fears.

What's up with that? As if it's not hypocritical enough that our general politics are so evil and wanky, people who play around in the dark with heaven knows WHAT kind of toys, inflatable or not, are making up moral laws. I don't want my politicians to be MY moral arbiter, except inasmuch as I hope they're good people. But if they want to sleep with their longtime partner, what do I care? What SHOULD I care?

Then there is the recent distaste for the M word as it applies to those who love "outside" societal present-day "norms"-- would it really make a difference if gays or bis or whoever wanted to get "married?" Is it really just the word? Then fuck it! Let's make EVERY marriage a Civil Union and fuck all of the religions demanding their piece of gold to codify someone's love! And fuck all those who say "it'll be too expensive" to provide civil rights to AMERICAN fucking citizens (if yer in America, if not, this rant isn't for you...) who in every other way are protected by law. That was probably a "good" argument during the forty acres and a mule giveaway, but it never worked and won't now. And given, that we queers tend to make more money as couples, give a lot of it away-- fuck it! Let whoever wants to live and care for each other do so in the manner they approve of.

And don't get me started about passive aggressive people. I've lost a friend who proved to be a giant dick, the one discussed in the above rant. I don't think my Bi thing caused it, but certainly for a gayboy he proved to be a rude motherfucker with very little social skills. Far too little to be Bi...:)

Overall, I don't think the scene coming is going to be good for us queers, and certainly, given our marginal status as "not us, not them" among gays and lesbians, it ain't gonna get easier to be Bi. Of course, I'm also sliding into not having sex, since I'm tired most of the time and also not willing to commit energy to relationships. Oh wait... damn! Do I sound like a non-relationship seeking Bi?? Damn....

However, there are times I smile at my cats (does neutering cats make em Bi?), say a Buddhist mantra, and remember that this too shall pass. It really will. I might rant till it does... but it will pass!

Peace out and a happy new year to all of us, and blessing upon us all. We'll need 'em.

RANT # 3 and COUNTING from Filterbot--

Well...plans to move to AU might not come thru... but each day I am reminded that a nice gentle Euro place like Iceland might be more hospitable than this gradually more fascistic government. It's not like I think the whole country's freaked, but certainly men...white STRAIGHT men...

Then there are the presumably straight, black females who are spouting shit guised in religious rhetoric. This time, MLKJr's daughter. YAY. We've come so fucking far in this country. Have I mentioned this country is the US? I should have. My country tis of that.

The exhaustion of the last few weeks have only been exacerbated by accidentally seeing the Resident (Evil) occasionally in papers or TV. I don't watch much TV, now. Gives me an evil gut feeling.

Things proceed oddly this year so far, almost cautiously. It's a very weird feeling. I'm trying to keep it all together...but it is remarkably hard. As you can tell by this rant. Peace out, y'all!

RANT 4 of FILTERBOT- The Peaceful Rant.

All right, I lied, I'm not really feeling peaceful. Thje creepy odd feeling that has come over me since the dawn of the year persists. I begin to believe that people SUCK. I eat badly...

I then try to breathe, but sometimes it just won't work. It has been a hard week or two, physically and mentally. I fight the fact i detest many of my colleagues, that I can't handle privilege, that there are people who never ask questions abotu their privilege. And, of course, that includes their lack of awareness of heterosexism.

I'm tired of them. I'm tired of well meaning liberal-types and if I see one more "ethnicy" piece of jewelry on a white woman I'm gonna lose it. A jury of my Bi peers would probably let me off, too.

I think, in the end, I have to ask questions about what my role is going to be. I'm very tired from trying to learn to negotiate this system, and I'm also tired of trying to do everything. Yet, I can't seem to let it go!

Oddly, this seems a correlation to my Bi-ness... like I do choose more than one thing, more than one path, goal, love, whatever. I don't want to choose struggle, but it seems that's how I'm hardwired. And I'm over it. I really am.

Okay, so I THINK I am!

Maybe I need to write more bad fiction:) Or good fic! Yeah, that's it...

Love the ones you're with!

Not quite the Rant from Filterbot, Number One, April 2005

I guess one of the things I'm most amazed at in this world I at least occupy is that the varied and wonderful weirdness of love is so persistent. I mean, without getting too detailed, I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love, and it is so unlikely indeed. It feels weird-- and it is weird, at least in any conventional sense. Of course, the issue is that love, supposedly, is not conventional. That's something I think I've tried to make clear here on this page.

But it's weird to have the moment hit you, you know? It knocks the cynicism in you around a bit-- never quite getting rid of it, but still and all--the light comes in and you're like "Hmm! How interesting!"

I know that's a weak way of looking at it. That's also why I don't wanna dwell on it too much!

So let me dwell on some vicarious, vicious, and evilish pleasures! I have on and off written fanfic of the "slash" genre--you know, hot men doing each other. Sometimes with some major angst. I wonder though, since it's too close to me, if I am unable to write bi fic... then again! One of my characters has been identified as being "a person who loves whoever he falls in love with." Isn't that the goal?

Well, I think it is. I'm feeling so damn mellow, and it's the sun's fault! I lay out in the sun for a while and just basked. Basking will also take the evil out of you. At least until you start to peel:D

I never peel though. One of those brown type people. As i mentioned to my therapist-- I'm not ANGRY, I'm confused! Guess being brought up in a place where I was the majority and then moving to somewhere that someone ELSE is... is interesting. I kinda look at people now and then with my head tilted slightly to the side. Hmm.

Then again, at risk of alienating the two of you who read this regularly..:D... occasionally it means I just do not like white people now n then. Maybe it's more fair to say I don't like ignorance and lack of internal analysis. Unfortunately, it affects the white people I know in my work county more. And you know what? Sorry! I'm over being anyone's "Other" or teacher. I teach my students--and none other.

And that goes for Bi, brown, tattooed, and PhD-ed. So there.

Peace out, y'all!

The loving sweetness n light rant: May 19, 2005--
Oh, I'm in loooovvvveeee....:D Yes I am. And boy, how much of a difference that makes!

No, I'm not gonna tell you who with!!
August 2006
What a difference... a gay makes....:)
Heh. Well, I went and got permanently partnered, which has been spectaular, but one does wonder about the loss potentially of activist and rabble rousing points. I can't say I really give a shit:).
I find it impossibly hard in all types of activism to be hardcore 24/7. I was even trained educatinoally not to be a zealot. I do, think, though, that it's good to be aware of the privilege or lack thereof one has. I know I'm lucky to be in love with someone that the place I live in now accepts me kissing in public. I'm vaguely sick sometimes that some of my friends can't do that if they wanted to without stupid people making comments or worse. The world is such a tiring place at times.
Of course, when it comes to Bi-ness,  we've been putting up with that shit from time immemorial. NO thanks to David Bowie or Elton John, neither.  Seems sometimes for the Bi, it's hard to tell the friends from the enemies.
September 2006
Semi middle of the "hispanic heritage month" or el mes de tacos y fiestas. Why does ethinicity tend to equate with food and parties? NOt that they ain't great...but we suck at history of all kinds anyway.  Snort.
I had an interesting discussion with a colleague about Bi-ness. She believes it's pretty much nonexistent, and I wondered again at the need to delineate in binaries-- or, to be less obtuse, to have things be black and white, gay or straight, Mormon or normal (heh).  Tomorrow the partner n  I are off to a gay friendly coffee thing, an I do hope peple aren't weird. I wish all humans could exist without labels. I know they're convenient (whine moan)...
How I miss the heady days of academic discussion! Who gave a shit who slept with whom and how many times!

This page bought to you cause I CAN. So there.