Not that it's anyone's freaking business, but there is a fact to be had. There are bisexual people in the
world. There are probably even some around YOU. So here. This is a page for those of us/you who choose both paths when we
come to the woods.
RANT: (this rant appears in Issue 5 of The Fence, a zine for bi women-- www.thefence.ca)
N Glare; or, when Well-Meaning Liberals/Feminists/Gays/Lesbians go Bad
by Riotnot Filterbot Sept 6 2004
not like all of us haven't heard it before, the whole argument against or trashing bis. We have, so often for some of us that
we have developed a whole range of responses running from the educational "Let me give you facts and oh here, take some literature
from BRC" to "you know what? I wouldn't fuck YOU with a ten-foot strap on." I myself have used a whole bunch (thought lately
the latter approach fits me better), and I try real hard for a living and otherwise to facilitate communication among the
wide range of humanoids we all live with. 'Cause you know, talking is cool and all and everyone is entitled to their opinion,
Except when they quite obviously know better. I'm not sure how many of us out there (wave, grrls!) have
a gay friend or "queer" friend who just doesn't "get" us and the whole bi "thing". I have a great friend whom I truly love,
who does fantastic educational work, who happens to be gay, and who has rarely resisted the urge to glare when I mention bisexuality.
I do think he is sensitive to the issue with me, but I doubt he is with the rest of the universe at large. Is it because he's
a gay guy? Is it because he might be seen as "bi-friendly" with his gay male friends? Is it really that he's kinda grossed
out by the idea of girl/boy/grrl/boi action? I dunno-- after all, among those gay friends we have, how many do we know have
"erred" and had sex with the opposite genitalia?
So what do we do, armed with our knowing nods that say we know people
fuck whatever and whomever they want (a quote from "Exorcist the Beginning" which is not a bad film BTW, helps me here: "An
orgy with goats doesn't mean they're possessed, it means they're horny.")? I am friends with a whole bunch of really cool
feminist types, straight n not, and my lesbian friends have a hard time with bis. What happened, did a rampaging gang of bis
take their ice cream away? "Ha ha! Gimme that Rocky Road, ya monosexual bitch!" I am talking HIGHLY evolved feminists, the
kind that make Pat Robertson grab his balls when they bike by. What hope do we have of carving a bi space out if our most
progressive allies are full of shit when it comes to bisexuality?
This is a rant, so I don't have an answer. But when
our good friends go bad, we have several options. We can be quiet, and look, people..as an educator, I can tell ya there are
times when I really don't wanna teach anyone jack shit. And it's okay, but I admit it's not always a great option. We can
talk: politely, rationally, and with our heads together. We can advocate: write your letters, educate our so-called LG(optional)BTQQ
groups about bi needs and issues, and bi life.
Or we can just take the motherfuckers ice cream from them and lick,
laughing all the while.
(The author is just kidding. As a vegetarian, she don't eat marshmallows so she would NEVER
steal Rocky Road from a baby, much less a gay boy. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, on the other hand..)
RANT #2 FROM
Well, it's a new year, and from a sexuality point of view, probably not all that good to begin
with. Americans didn't do a good job of discriminating between fear, ignorance, and stupidity, and of course, part of that
was a right-wing conspiracy to use queers for fears.
What's up with that? As if it's not hypocritical enough that
our general politics are so evil and wanky, people who play around in the dark with heaven knows WHAT kind of toys, inflatable
or not, are making up moral laws. I don't want my politicians to be MY moral arbiter, except inasmuch as I hope they're good
people. But if they want to sleep with their longtime partner, what do I care? What SHOULD I care?
Then there is the
recent distaste for the M word as it applies to those who love "outside" societal present-day "norms"-- would it really make
a difference if gays or bis or whoever wanted to get "married?" Is it really just the word? Then fuck it! Let's make EVERY
marriage a Civil Union and fuck all of the religions demanding their piece of gold to codify someone's love! And fuck all
those who say "it'll be too expensive" to provide civil rights to AMERICAN fucking citizens (if yer in America, if not, this
rant isn't for you...) who in every other way are protected by law. That was probably a "good" argument during the forty acres
and a mule giveaway, but it never worked and won't now. And given, that we queers tend to make more money as couples, give
a lot of it away-- fuck it! Let whoever wants to live and care for each other do so in the manner they approve of.
don't get me started about passive aggressive people. I've lost a friend who proved to be a giant dick, the one discussed
in the above rant. I don't think my Bi thing caused it, but certainly for a gayboy he proved to be a rude motherfucker with
very little social skills. Far too little to be Bi...:)
Overall, I don't think the scene coming is going to be good
for us queers, and certainly, given our marginal status as "not us, not them" among gays and lesbians, it ain't gonna get
easier to be Bi. Of course, I'm also sliding into not having sex, since I'm tired most of the time and also not willing to
commit energy to relationships. Oh wait... damn! Do I sound like a non-relationship seeking Bi?? Damn....
there are times I smile at my cats (does neutering cats make em Bi?), say a Buddhist mantra, and remember that this too shall
pass. It really will. I might rant till it does... but it will pass!
Peace out and a happy new year to all of us,
and blessing upon us all. We'll need 'em.
RANT # 3 and COUNTING from Filterbot--
Well...plans to move to AU
might not come thru... but each day I am reminded that a nice gentle Euro place like Iceland might be more hospitable than
this gradually more fascistic government. It's not like I think the whole country's freaked, but certainly some...men...white
men...white STRAIGHT men...
Then there are the presumably straight, black females who are spouting shit guised in
religious rhetoric. This time, MLKJr's daughter. YAY. We've come so fucking far in this country. Have I mentioned this country
is the US? I should have. My country tis of that.
The exhaustion of the last few weeks have only been exacerbated
by accidentally seeing the Resident (Evil) occasionally in papers or TV. I don't watch much TV, now. Gives me an evil gut
Things proceed oddly this year so far, almost cautiously. It's a very weird feeling. I'm trying to keep it
all together...but it is remarkably hard. As you can tell by this rant. Peace out, y'all!
RANT 4 of FILTERBOT-
The Peaceful Rant.
All right, I lied, I'm not really feeling peaceful. Thje creepy odd feeling that has come over
me since the dawn of the year persists. I begin to believe that people SUCK. I eat badly...
I then try to breathe,
but sometimes it just won't work. It has been a hard week or two, physically and mentally. I fight the fact i detest many
of my colleagues, that I can't handle privilege, that there are people who never ask questions abotu their privilege. And,
of course, that includes their lack of awareness of heterosexism.
I'm tired of them. I'm tired of well meaning liberal-types
and if I see one more "ethnicy" piece of jewelry on a white woman I'm gonna lose it. A jury of my Bi peers would probably
let me off, too.
I think, in the end, I have to ask questions about what my role is going to be. I'm very tired from
trying to learn to negotiate this system, and I'm also tired of trying to do everything. Yet, I can't seem to let it go!
this seems a correlation to my Bi-ness... like I do choose more than one thing, more than one path, goal, love, whatever.
I don't want to choose struggle, but it seems that's how I'm hardwired. And I'm over it. I really am.
Okay, so I THINK
Maybe I need to write more bad fiction:) Or good fic! Yeah, that's it...
Love the ones you're with!
Not quite the Rant from Filterbot, Number One, April 2005
I guess one of the things I'm most
amazed at in this world I at least occupy is that the varied and wonderful weirdness of love is so persistent. I mean, without
getting too detailed, I'm pretty sure I've fallen in love, and it is so unlikely indeed. It feels weird-- and it is weird,
at least in any conventional sense. Of course, the issue is that love, supposedly, is not conventional. That's something I
think I've tried to make clear here on this page.
But it's weird to have the moment hit you, you know? It knocks the
cynicism in you around a bit-- never quite getting rid of it, but still and all--the light comes in and you're like "Hmm!
I know that's a weak way of looking at it. That's also why I don't wanna dwell on it too much!
let me dwell on some vicarious, vicious, and evilish pleasures! I have on and off written fanfic of the "slash" genre--you
know, hot men doing each other. Sometimes with some major angst. I wonder though, since it's too close to me, if I am unable
to write bi fic... then again! One of my characters has been identified as being "a person who loves whoever he falls in love
with." Isn't that the goal?
Well, I think it is. I'm feeling so damn mellow, and it's the sun's fault! I lay out in
the sun for a while and just basked. Basking will also take the evil out of you. At least until you start to peel:D
never peel though. One of those brown type people. As i mentioned to my therapist-- I'm not ANGRY, I'm confused! Guess being
brought up in a place where I was the majority and then moving to somewhere that someone ELSE is... is interesting. I kinda
look at people now and then with my head tilted slightly to the side. Hmm.
Then again, at risk of alienating the two
of you who read this regularly..:D... occasionally it means I just do not like white people now n then. Maybe it's more fair
to say I don't like ignorance and lack of internal analysis. Unfortunately, it affects the white people I know in my work
county more. And you know what? Sorry! I'm over being anyone's "Other" or teacher. I teach my students--and none other.
that goes for Bi, brown, tattooed, and PhD-ed. So there.
Peace out, y'all!
The loving sweetness n light rant: May 19, 2005--
Oh, I'm in loooovvvveeee....:D Yes I am. And boy, how much of a
difference that makes!
No, I'm not gonna tell you who with!!
What a difference... a gay makes....:)
Heh. Well, I went and got permanently partnered, which has been spectaular, but one does wonder about the
loss potentially of activist and rabble rousing points. I can't say I really give a shit:).
I find it impossibly hard in all types of activism to be hardcore 24/7. I was even trained educatinoally
not to be a zealot. I do, think, though, that it's good to be aware of the privilege or lack thereof one has. I know I'm lucky
to be in love with someone that the place I live in now accepts me kissing in public. I'm vaguely sick sometimes that some
of my friends can't do that if they wanted to without stupid people making comments or worse. The world is such a tiring place
Of course, when it comes to Bi-ness, we've been putting up with that shit from time immemorial. NO
thanks to David Bowie or Elton John, neither. Seems sometimes for the Bi, it's hard to tell the friends from the enemies.
Semi middle of the "hispanic heritage month" or el mes de tacos y fiestas. Why does ethinicity tend to equate
with food and parties? NOt that they ain't great...but we suck at history of all kinds anyway. Snort.
I had an interesting discussion with a colleague about Bi-ness. She believes it's pretty much nonexistent,
and I wondered again at the need to delineate in binaries-- or, to be less obtuse, to have things be black and white, gay
or straight, Mormon or normal (heh). Tomorrow the partner n I are off to a gay friendly coffee thing, an I do
hope peple aren't weird. I wish all humans could exist without labels. I know they're convenient (whine moan)...
How I miss the heady days of academic discussion! Who gave a shit who slept with whom and how many times!